17 Dec Eva and Gus: Soul Letters

Entry 1–

A Distant Tale

She laid her head on my chest and gently swayed her fingers across it, with a sigh of relief I listened to her breathe. I stared at the ceiling above us, not many thoughts passed through my head while we lay, warming her mattress as she held me. I stared down at her head with the small temptation to run my hand over it but then decided not to, and we continued to lay in silence. I said nothing; eventually she lifted her head with a sleepy look in her eyes and smiled, kissing me.

“I love you.” She said quietly with the lasting glimpse of her smile and she laid her head on my left breast again.

Her hand fiddled gently across me until I brushed it away, she hurriedly pulled it back and turned her back to me. I stared at her and then closed my eyes, in the attempt to sleep I would notice soon after that she had stopped touching me. She wrapped her arms around herself and took such quiet breathes that it was hard to tell if she had still been alive. I gently grazed my hand over her shoulder and left it there, she responded by pushing it away and I left her alone and didn’t pay much attention to it.

I find it troublesome now, when I think back to a lot of scenarios like that when we had been together, even some that persisted after we had separated. I sat with my back to the entrance of the tent; the cool air blew in as a fellow cadet stormed in and crashed heavily on to his cot, the bed crying at the impact. Hell, I know much better now. It took a while to figure out, the something special that I had that I decided to put on the back burner, for my own sake, for her sake.