28 Jun My Date with A Homeless Man

The note read, “Washington Square Park, third bench near the 8th street entrance.” My

roommate Rachel left Dan’s “address” on the kitchen table this morning before she left to work.

The night before she had told me that she ran into him again and thought it was a good idea that I

take him out for dinner.

“Trust me, it would be a change from all these corporate douchebags you’ve been giving

blowjobs to,” Rachel said. “E.G. Kevin, you knew he was never going to commit to you. He was

only ever interested in those supermodel bitches. And let’s not forget, Justin…”

Rachel is my best friend and my college roommate. She had seen me go through a

number of breakups from start to finish and stood by my side through all of it.

“I get it. But I don’t think…” I shoved the toothbrush back in my mouth before

continuing, “He was that into me,” I swished some water in my mouth and spat it into the sink.

“Are you kidding me?” she stared at me in disbelief. “FYI, did you see the way he was

looking at you? He was totally interested. I’m going to bed dude. I think you should sleep on it.

TTYL,” she said as she closed the door to her room.

We both met Dan a few weeks ago during one of our runs through the park. There was

something so tantalizing about him, his pungent cologne, his cheeky grin and the dirt smeared

underneath his right nostril. I had been sweating up a storm since this the first time I had worked

out since New Year’s Day. My hair was frayed and my makeup was bleeding, but he didn’t seem

to mind. He kind of looked past it as we paused for a water break.

He was sitting on his bench whittling a female figurine. It had long locks of hair that

rotated around her naked body, she seemed to be frozen in the midst of a dance. As I drank from

the fountain I watched him with each sip, the determination on his face was so intense it excited

me. He looked up from his work and stared at me for a moment and he smiled, a single tooth

missing from the top right corner of his mouth. I swooned. He stood from his seat and walked

over to Rachel and me, then he pressed the button on the fountain and rinsed off the figurine,

wood shavings meeting at the drain. I pushed a dangling strand of hair behind my ear, my

stomach-turning nervously. He didn’t say much at first. But once he did, I couldn’t get enough.

“How long have you lived in New York?” Dan asked.

“About seven years now, how about you? What is your profession?” I asked.

“I’ve been here for about fifteen years. The first ten, I was shacked up with my ex-fiancé.

I used to be a firefighter for the FDNY and then I got fired after having a mental breakdown.

Which was after she dumped me and moved to Egypt to pursue Archeology,” he paused. “I’ve

been living here on the corner of 8th street for some time now. I enjoy it, although my landlord is

a trip. He charges way too much than a panhandler can afford, but now, I do what I can. I often

whittle to pass the time and sell these figures when I’m finished,” he said while showing me the

figurine he was working on.

“Maybe we can all get together and go out sometime?” Rachel said as she poked her head

into our conversation.

“That would be nice. I’ll see you around,” Dan said and I nodded in agreement and left

with Rachel.

Not only was I charmed by him, but I was attracted to the fact that he had a steady job

and a decent place to stay. I could see myself with him, but I neglected to tell Rachel because of

how pushy she can be.

I was giddy while leaving my apartment; Rachel had suggested that I take him to a place

that better suited his appeal.

“You don’t want to scare him off. He seems fragile, especially after the whole thing he

said about his fiancé,” Rachel said as she packed the fridge full of groceries. “And BIBLE, with

you, we don’t need to have any more tears in your eyes. No more Kevin’s or Justin’s, let’s just

“I’m going to give him a try, Rach.”

“FYI Justin has been calling for you BTW, it would be wise to ignore that and see what

Dan has to offer. Maybe let him pick the dinner venue. And God, don’t be afraid to pay.”

“Yes, mother dear.”

“Oh, and please, don’t dress like a model or a law firm cunt,” She snarled. “Put on

something casual, something artsy.”

So, I showered and applied globs of suntan lotion to avoid turning into a lobster.

Especially since I would be out most of the day. I tossed my auburn curls under a black

headband before putting on a fine splotch of eyeliner. I found a pair of my holey-whitewashed

painting pants and threw them on along with a black graphic T-shirt. I put on my patent Doc

Martens, glossed my lips, and sprayed myself with a sweet perfume before I left the house.

“You got ‘dis!” Rachel said giving me a “thumbs up!”

I met Dan near the entrance of the park. He was holding a cup of change that he handed

to me when we met.

“I earned just about enough to pay for dinner,” He smiled as he kissed my cheek, leaving

behind the faint, yet intoxicating smell of booze.

“Thank you.”

“Wait for me, I just need a little more. Wait on my bench,” He said and wondered off

towards a gushing fountain.

He stopped to panhandle some more. And I thought it was charming.

“Do you have fifty cent or a dollar so I can get myself a sandwich and a soda?” He asked

about a dozen passersby.

By the time he came back, he had gotten about three dollars and sixty-five cents in

change. Altogether, Dan had made about thirty bucks for our date. “I made sure I got enough to

really go all out.”

“You really didn’t have to work so hard, Dan!”

“It was worth it,” He chimed.

We made our way to the New York City Fire Museum on Spring Street. He charged the

sixteen dollar fee for two adults on his signature panhandle cup. We spent an hour and a half

exploring the history of fire departments and fire fighting in New York City.

Hand in hand we walked to a deli that he seemed to know pretty well. He ordered a hot

pastrami sandwich and a coke and I got myself a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon. He paid for

it all. While we ate our sandwiches I had noticed that I was given a slice of tomato on my

“I hate tomatoes.”

“I’ll take it,” Dan said as he reached his beautifully filthy fingers in between the butt of

my bread to pull out the slice of tomato.

I beamed at the thought of sharing food with him. Afterwards we walked to an Italian

gelato place and enjoyed a sweet treat. I ended up dropping some on my chin which he wiped

away with his dirty finger. I was truly flattered at knowing (even though we had only been out

for a few hours) how passionate he could be.

“I like you a lot,” he said smiling at me, a piece of lettuce trapped in his teeth.

“I like you a lot too, Dan,” I said slurping up the remainder of my gelato.

We walked back to his bench and sat down for a while. We talked about his specialties in

garbage picking, whittling, and begging, which made him all the more charming.

“I’ve got it down to a keynote now, ‘Can I have fifty cents or dollar so I can get myself a

sandwich and a soda,’ the only difference is, I actually use it for what I say it’s for.”

“I noticed, I was just so surprised at how generous people can be. At the law firm I work

at, people can really be such assholes.”

“I know. Rich assholes, that throw out amazing things,” He said as he got up for a

moment. “You see this cooler?” He opened it and showed me all his finds. “I found an old

fashioned music box, a knock of Van Gogh painting… people just don’t care. Like with my

figurines, I got lucky, New Yorker’s like art.”

“You know? I’m glad Rachel suggested this date. I would’ve regretted it.”

“I’m glad we got to do this too.”

As he walked me to the 8th street exit of the park he held my hand and told me how much

he enjoyed himself. Handing me the figurine I had previously seen him working on as a gift. He

kissed me. I could taste the leftovers of his pastrami sandwich. I definitely could see myself

going out on another date with him. Rachel was right, it was time I gave the little guys a try, and

I’m glad I did.