17 Dec Eva and Gus: Soul Letters Part III

Entry 2–

Ready and Able

Eva. I had considered writing her, calling her even, but subconsciously, something made me avoid acting upon the thoughts. Back when we spent our days together, although not so far off, the longest we had ever gone without speaking was a month. During that time, she had been preoccupied with someone else, going on dates and shunning me. I admit it, I had done her wrong, but it wouldn’t have been right to keep her at bay knowing how strongly she had felt for me.

“I can’t do this anymore.” She looked at me sternly from her seat and then shifted.

My eyes wandered around her face which was partially decorated to resemble that of a sugar skull. I said nothing.

“I’ve tried so hard for you Gus.” She paused to collect herself. “But, you treat me like shit.”

I couldn’t do or say anything, she had made up her mind and this upset me.

“Just give me some time, I can’t ask for anything else but I need my space.”

And we left it at that, a month had nearly come and gone and then we resumed our normal routine. She had returned to me with this spirit, this giddy sensation, but with a realistic and new way of presenting her honesty. Together, I can’t describe us in the way that she might other than the fact that I knew she had loved me. She had loved me in such a way that I was often ashamed because I could never reciprocate.

“I would do anything for you.”

I know Eva. I know.